Ah, Calumet Fisheries.  A true Chicago classic, per the textbook definition: a scene from Blues Brothers was shot here (at the beginning, when they jump the bridge, btw).  Serving up deliciousness for decades on the southeast side, Calumet is one of a few remaining examples of a formerly ubiquitous restaurant format: the carry-out only, late night/early morning seafood shack located in an industrial area and/or near the river (other remaining examples include Lawrence Fisheries in East Pilsen and one on Goose Island).  Such is the historical significance of this place that Anthony Bourdain himself stopped here for his recent No Reservations episode in Chicago.  A Friday happy hour craving meant Dave K and I hopped in the trusty Toyota and paid the $3 skyway toll to satiate my desire (do not, I repeat, do not come here via public transportation.  Yes, I actually just said that).

Hmm, if you’re already here, you probably don’t need to know the location, but maybe it’s a useful mnemonic for next time, since we are sort of in the middle of nowhere.

Speaks for itself, really.  This is the only building in a several block radius, aside from the bridge tower.  The smell of frying seafood permeates - in a good way.

Prices have been going up (I blame Anthony Bourdain) but it didn’t deter a steady stream of customers.  In fact, we took so long agonizing over what to get that we missed out on the last of the smelts for the night.  Ended up with some fried shrimp, fried oysters, french fries, fried scallops, plus Dave K got some smoked shrimp and chubs for the road.  Yes, they throw in the fork for free with the dinner plates - what a deal.

They’ve got a bunch of smoked goodies ready-to-go, including some decent looking salmon.  I’ll spare you a close-up of the fish heads on the lower shelf.

While you wait for them to freshly fry your food, you can check out the wall full of signed paraphinalia commemorating the visits of various celebrities.  Which I think includes, um, Dan Aykroyd, John Belushi, and Anthony Bourdain.

Remember, this is a shack, so it’s back to the car to eat.  Had the weather been nice (it was a typically frigid February evening) one could, in theory, eat outside and enjoy the sights and smells of industry and the Chicago skyway looming overhead, but it might be more pleasant in the car.

Left to right: (1) The Shrimp Dinner, free fork not shown. (2) Oysters. (3) Scallops.

This may be a cop-out, but all were excellent.  Consistency was perfect in all of these seafoods, and the flavor was rich: the breading/oil combo is simple and lets the seafood provide the flavor.  A little hot sauce is provided and optional for an extra kick, if desired: both hot and mild versions are serviceable.  The fries and slaw are decent, but otherwise unremarkable; neither bad nor standout.  The shrimp were the most addictive, while the oysters had the most striking flavor; very Zinc-y, in a good way.

From L to R: (1) Poor effort at documenting smoked Shrimp, (2) Chub, pre, (3) Chub, in progress.

Yes, in focus behind the blurry smoked shrimp is evidence that we were indeed listening to Power 92 (”#1 In The Streets”).  The smoked shrimp, like the fried, is addictive, and must be approached with caution.  These guys have the shell/legs still on, so be prepared for a little work to get to the delectable inside.  No sauce needed here; the level of smoke is perfect, doesn’t overpower the shrimp.  Can’t comment on the chub, but Dave K seemed to enjoy it.  I’m sure those photographs are tantalizingly appetizing.

That’s all we got.  I’m a sucker for urban/industrial grit, so I tried to document the incredible setting a little bit.

The difficulty taking these night shots was almost the necessary inspiration for me to finally procure a tripod.  Well, it’s on the list.  Wish I could have taken some more, but it was frickin’ cold and I had forgot to put on my long underwear or wear a proper coat that day.  Suffice it to say, if you like grit, you’ll like this location.  The shot on the left doesn’t really capture the scale of the situation: an old railroad lift bridge obscures the mammoth Skyway Toll Bridge (the large cantilever structure) soaring over 100ft over the canal and port below.

But really, the purpose of all this is the food.  And if you like your food fried, and you like seafood, then you’ll love this fried seafood.  And the smoked seafood too; depends on your particular craving.  End of story.  Make some time and head down to the southeast side.

Calumet Fisheries (indeed they have a website)

3259 E. 95th St. (click for map)

Chicago, IL 60617

Hours: S-W, 10a-945p; Th, 9a-930p; F-Sa, 9a-945p.

Ph: 773-933-9855